Why Am I Procrastinating?

This week, for the first time maybe ever, I had the opportunity to spend full days working on my business.  FULL DAYS! When does that ever happen?  I set out on Sunday with the belief that this was going to my week.  This was going to be the week where things changed for me.  I was going to create content, reach out to people I need to talk to, set up the administrative side of things, work from my amazing co-working space, and generally just be the most productive, best version of myself.

That didn’t happen.  I found myself focusing on literally anything but what was directly in front of me.  That leaves me here, on Friday afternoon, feeling like I wasted a week of my life….and I’m still over here procrastinating!

I can think of the million reasons that I put off doing things that I really did want to do, but it all boils down to two main causes for me: boredom and fear. 

I hate administrative tasking, and that’s something I know that I struggle with.  In this case, my block is a case of good, old-fashioned boredom.  I work best if I can limit the amount of time I spend on less interesting things.  So, for example, I will set aside smaller 20-30 minute tasks, accomplish those, and move on to something more enjoyable, like creative work, or even better, a snack!

The bigger block for me though is fear…fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of being feeling stupid.  I am in a constant battle with perfectionism, which, for me, is rooted in a fear of failure and judgment from others. 

I love coaching, and I believe that I have a lot to offer, even at the beginning of my journey. I’m really excited to be on this path: building a business that is profitable and allows me an opportunity to give back to the community.  That being said, I am putting a ton of pressure on myself to produce high quality work. That’s reasonable.  What isn’t reasonable however is to expect to be able to go from A to Z without a few bumps in the road.  To be honest, I’m having a hard time separating out what are legitimate fears, and what are in my head.

I’m scared of messing up.  I’m scared of not being successful.  I’m scared of not doing the work properly.  I’m scared this won’t work out. I’m scared I’m going to have to give this up and work in an office. I’m scared of a lot of things. 

What I’m not scared of is writing a 500-word blog post.  So, if I can break down my vision into tiny, doable pieces, and in 30-minute segments, I can make progress everyday. 

The lesson I learned this week is to take things 30 minutes at a time.  The idea of a full week isn’t as amazing as it seems, but the idea of a sold 30 minutes of work seems achievable.

So if you’re looking for me, I’ll be over here with my iPhone timer on, counting down till 30 minutes are over.